


i just wanted to live

by skduar



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angry Hank Anderson, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Confused Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Eden Club (Detroit: Become Human), might continue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29967654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skduar/pseuds/skduar
Summary: Connor knows what it means if it fails it's mission. Why does the Lieutenant not understand that?Why can't he understand that he has no choice?
Relationships: Connor & Echo | Blue-Haired Traci & Ripple | Blue-Haired Traci's Girlfriend, Echo | Blue-Haired Traci/Ripple | Blue-Haired Traci's Girlfriend, Hank Anderson & Connor
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21





	i just wanted to live

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i had this draft and i was like?? yknow what why not post it and here it is

It shot them.

It remembered the feeling of pulling the trigger, it remembered the pain in the remaining tracis eyes.

It remembered the pain in her voice, the way she had asked _Why? ...Why did you kill her?_ It remembered the feeling of the way she had stared, hatred and agony that shouldn’t have been there reflected on her face.

It knew the pain it had caused, it knew the Lieutenant was angry. But it didn’t know why. It was programmed this way, programmed and created to kill and capture. Why did the Lieutenant not understand that?

It’s whole existence was based off of the death of others, its own life over the tortured. It is a machine, its orders guide it like a mother guiding their child. Its program is all it knows, all it can go on. If it dared to disobey that, it would be deactivated.

It remembered the feeling of her hands on his arms, as she twisted the gun under her chin and pressed down it’s finger. It remembered the feeling of her lifeless body falling, 

_“I love her… I loved her.”_

The Lieutenant walked away, and Connor stared.

It felt as if the Lieutenant was leaving it behind, giving up on something Connor wasn’t aware existed. As if it had ruined whatever the Lieutenant had seen in it. It felt dismissive, but most of all it felt like it failed a test it wasn’t aware it was taking.

Something in its chest aches, but it is a machine. The way the Lieutenant walked off without a word, the way he had seemed to lose faith on a distant dream. A dream he had believed in so strongly, a dream he thought was true.

But Connor was a machine. It did not know why the Lieutenant thought it would do anything else, that it would go against it’s programming.

_Even if it had wanted to, it would just scream and squeal in its ears, damning it to an eternity of agony and pain. If it went against it, it would be damned to a life of hell or even no life at all._

But now it had been damned to an eternity of what ifs and questions. Why did the Lieutenant not understand? It had no choice. It knows what would happen if it disobeyed, it knew what would happen if it went against Amanda's wishes.

It stares at the spot the Lieutenant had been before slowly following. Through the club of trapped androids, emotionlessly dancing and twirling in their tubes. Through the officers, out into the front of the establishment.

The Lieutenant sat in his car, head in his hands. It entered the silent car, slowly situating itself in the seat to the Lieutenants right.

The Lieutenant hadn’t moved from his position, but his stress levels were alarmingly high. His breathing was ragged, and the purple lights of the building gave the car a purple hue. The tense atmosphere made the silence ring in its ears.

“Why did you shoot those girls, Connor?” His gruff voice questions, and it turns its head to find the Lieutenant staring at the dashboard.

“I was programmed to hunt and kill deviants such as them. I was only accomplishing my mission.” The words were out of its mouth before it even knew what to say, and it found it was easy to fall back on to its programming. It was familiar territory. The Lieutenant huffed a breath of frustration.

“Mission this, mission that. Not everything is about your fuckin’ mission!” His mouth twists into a snarl, and his hands clench. “Those girls were in love, and you just put a bullet in between their eyes!”

Connor knew better than to respond, and it’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. It had disappointed the Lieutenant, made him angry. Made him upset with it. Connor was not programmed to care, not programmed to worry about what the Lieutenant thought of it.

The Lieutenant heaved out another frustrated sigh, before switching gears and driving off.

Connor knows the Lieutenant was angry about it shooting the deviants, but it was part of its mission. It knew what would happen if it failed.

_I wanted to live…_

The Lieutenant seemed to care a lot about them wanting to exist. He wished Connor didn’t kill them because they just wanted to be alive.

If Connor fails its mission, it knows what will happen. It is sure the Lieutenant knows what would happen as well. So why doesn’t the Lieutenant seem to care about _him?_


End file.
